Welcome back to another week of Hammer the Backlog, the internet’s first and greatest mini painting blog. Look, not everything on the internet has to be true. We live in a post truth world. Anyway, what is true is that Hammer the backlog is a weekly mini painting, accountability and productivity blog, and that each week I take a look at the project scorecard, the progress on the quarterly targets and this week’s five Hammer the Backlog points worth of painted models. So let’s do that!
SCORECARD
All green again this week, pulling the 10 week averages back into shape a little. Even better than all green, as I have “awarded” myself six points for the models painted this week instead of 5. Every time I have a model with a complex banner, I forget that it might as well count as an additional model. So that left this week pretty tight. I’m only putting the finishing touches on these models on Thursday evening, despite having a bank holiday this week. And unlike other weeks, it wasn’t because I procrastinated. I have been focussed on these models all week, with no other distractions like scenery or wave serpents.
In fact, these models take so much effort, it actually reminded me that they are what killed my last attempt at starting a High Elf army. Back when these models were released, I went to Games Day and came home with two boxes of Phoenix Guard, a box of Dragon Princes, two of the new chariots and maybe a sky cutter. I started a blog on venerable old Portent, in which I committed to painting a rank a week of high elf models until my high elf army was finished. (Sounds familiar?)
Anyway, I did the first two ranks of archers in two weeks, then got stuck on the phoenix guard for six months before throwing in the towel. The difference a decade and a half can make!
So, what’s next? Since I’ve already broken the order I came up with at the start, I’m not sure.
| Week | Date | Models |
| 3 | 2/4 | 5 Seaguard |
| 4 | 19/4 | 5 Shadow Warriors |
| 5 | 16/4 | 1 Dragon Prince, |
| 6 | 23/4 | 1 Dragon Prince, |
| 7 | 30/4 | 1 Dragon Prince, |
| 8 | 7/5 | 1 Dragon Prince, |
| 9 | 14/5 | 1 Dragon Prince, |
| 10 | 21/5 | Bolt Thrower and Crew |
| 11 | 28/5 | Ponder nature |
| 12 | 4/6 | Smugness |
| 13 | 11/6 | Holiday |
I think I might do the bolt thrower and crew to give myself a slightly easier week after the complexity of this one, before lashing into the Dragon Princes.
THIS WEEK’S MODELS
Would you lookit, a finished ten man unit of Phoenix Guard. I’m 100% sure I have another 20 of these in the backlog somewhere, but they are not on this quarter’s tray and therefore future Mick’s problem.
I went, obviously, with the same scheme as last week. The biggest challenge was matching colour schemes. I do not know, exactly, how I painted the gold undercoats all those years ago on last week’s batch. This week’s batch were painted like this:
Retributor Armour
Chestnut Ink
Brown Ink in Deepest Recesses
Retributor armour reset
Liberator Gold think highlight
Stormhost Silver edge highlight
This week’s models are better painted than last week’s, but there is a slight but noticeable difference in their gold tone. Last week’s seem a lot cooler (in a colour theory sense), but only on the helmet wings. The armour and rest of the helmets match exactly. I think I might have skipped the chestnut ink on the helmet wings 15 years ago to create some variety in the gold tones. When they are a unit of 20, I think it will look fine to have a slight bit of tonal variety among the unit, as long as they are not placed in the same rank.
Something I didn’t point out last week was that I haven’t dotted the eyeballs on my Phoenix Guard. But! Not through laziness, I decided to leave them with fully white eyes to increase the otherworldliness of the unit. If you don’t believe me, please go back and check that I have dotted the eyes of every single other elf in the force!
Another thing that is slightly odd about these models is that some of the fire is the right way up, and some is the wrong way round. On the banner for example, the fire is brighter at the source and gets darker towards the tops. Like in real life.
But on the drums and capes, it’s the other way round, being edge highlighted with lighter colours. This was the way the studio used to paint high elves, and even though it is “wrong” I like it and decided to keep it.
SLEEPER HIT
So this time last week I posted the Assault on Black Reach Battle report. To no-one’s surprise, especially mine, it didn’t do great. Battle reports on the channel have not tended to do quite as well as quarterly updates, and nowhere near as well as Yearly reviews.
But to my surprise, the video seemed to find an audience and grow some legs, now breaking into the top performing videos after one week. Very strange indeed! Maybe the popularity or Orks vs Red Marines helped in some way?
Here, look at this graph.
And then maybe give the video another watch? To the moon! Isn’t it amazing that I have wasted 284 hours of human productivity by doing silly ork voices?
Thanks for reading all of that, see you again next week for most likely a bolt thrower and crew.
Best eggs!
Hammer the Backlog 
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